First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
