Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
