we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
