I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
