So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
