i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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