smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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