what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
