It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize