I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize