he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
