Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The ass gains better be worth it
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