Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
