is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize