she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
