i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
