just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
