this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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