He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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