do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you didnt know i had herpes?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i've created a new STD.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Pooping to opera.
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