you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have demons in me.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
