I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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