Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
