You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
honey bunches of taint.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
