It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
