so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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