You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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