dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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