I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
