Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
