worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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