After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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