i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
