You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
