Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
