You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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