Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just want to make out with him forever
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
