well I can't set my house on fire every night
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This is the high leading the old right now
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
