it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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