i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
