if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
