i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
