he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
