You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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