I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
