He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
