it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
