Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You are the jesus of drinking
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
