i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
