hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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