I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
