so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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