i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
