I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
