is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
