He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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