doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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