is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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