yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize